TRUST may be....

1)Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."
The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.

"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
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2)what are the signs that your boyfriend cheating in a long distanace relationship?

Answers (may be)::

If you have been phoning or emailing each other and he contacts you less and less. If he was making an effort on his holidays or long weekends to come see you and he has stopped doing this, then it sounds like he has lost interest. Long distance relationships are tough to hang onto and please take solace in the fact that there are so many people who have long distance relationships that break-up.
I would simply go visit him and see what is up (if you can) and communicate one-on-one and find out where your relationship stands. If he's ignoring you, then you must move on. There are a lot of other nice guys out there.
Good luck Marcy
Answer
Two words: Unavailability and Inconsistency..these two things ALWAYS mean something is up.
Answer
Trust your intuition. I didn't think my boyfriend would ever cheat but there was this gut feeling that wasn't there before. The signs you should look for:
1. His contact pattern with you changes. He doesn't instant message, call or send emails as often (or he starts sending more of them to cover up) or changes his routine times for doing these sorts of things, ie. he is unavailable when he used to available. Rather than wanting to spend all night chatting he has to cut his conversation with you short to "do something". I noticed my CBF's IM messages to me were lagging when we were online. I found out it was because he was talking to me and someone else at the same time.
2. He starts talking about new places he "checked out on his own" or with new "friend(s)" when he is really not that kind of guy. Or, he starts talking to you about topics that never interested him before and not related to his work but is now compelling to him.
3. He stops sharing details about his life. For instance, you have to draw out who these "new friend(s)" are and how they met etc. You may also notice when you are in town you never get to meet the "new friend(s)" because he wants to spend 24/7 with you (not true, but you will want to believe it). You may also notice that he doesn't take you to the "cool place" he discovered when he was out and about on his own or with his new "buddy". He gets angry at you or accuses you of controling, snoopy or being bossy when you ask about his new friends. He reminds you that he is allowed to have friends that are just his friends not yours.
4. He no longer wants you to tag along to the grocery store, to get his hair cut or other little errand (you will find he was off making a call to her or trying to meet with her). Before he wouldn't dream of leaving you at home alone.
5. Rather than begging you to come down and see him he encourages you to catch up with your friends or work over the week-end or tells you that he has to work all week-end himself and he won't have much time for you if you come down so you might want to think of staying home (truth - he has a date with someone else).
6. When you come down to see him he has spruced up his place or asks you to help him pick out some new towels or plates or some other housekeeping item he has never showed an interest in before (he wants to make a good impression on the new woman). Ditto on the clothing front. If he has invested in new clothes and is on a diet chances are pretty good that he isn't doing it to look good for you.
7. You notice new bath products in the bathroom. New linens in the bedroom. Fresh flowers already in a vase looking a couple days old in his house. Or things that you placed in the bathroom are moved or no longer there.
8. His computer now has a password when it didn't before. You notice that he now wipes out the history files on his computer (this is to make sure you can't follow what he has been up to - can you say dating web site). He switches the computer screen when you walk into the room or tries to hide the screen from you. He turns his computer off or no longer wants you to use it to surf or check your email.
9. His car smells different or he starts using cologne or buys a new scent when he never used the stuff before.
10. He starts being short or critical with you over little things. Or asks "why you don't ever ....." (fill in with something the new woman does he likes or even dislikes).
11. He makes sure you have all your stuff before you leave. Before he began cheating my CBF could care less if I left something behind because I would get it another time.
12. He switches tenses. When he used to talk about the two of you he is now just talking about himself, ie. "We should go to..." is now "I should go to ...". Other examples: "We should get a puppy" is now "I have been thinking of getting a puppy" or "Where should we go on vacation this year" is now "I am thinking of going to ..." or "Our house" is now "My house". Little subtle and not subtle shifts in talking.
13. He comments on you losing or gaining weight when you have done no such thing. (Someone else he has been grabbing onto is bigger or smaller than you.)
14. He likes clothes on you he used to hate on you. For me it was pointy toed pumps. My CBF used to hate it when I wore them and asked me not to wear them when we went out together. After he started cheating he told me he loved pointy toed pumps and I should get a pair.
15. He starts accusing you of cheating on him when you are not together. This is reverse psycology or him trying to sooth his own guilt. He may also start complaining more than usual about the long distance thing. He may encourage you to move to where he is or question where the relationship is going to. Instead of wanting to seriously talk about it though he quickly changes the topic. Again, this justifies in his mind his cheating.
16. You catch him in a series of small nonsensical lies.
17. He seems to have less money to do things with or doesn't want to go out and do things with you. (He is spending his money on dates with the new woman and is either pooped out from all that entertaining or doesn't want to risk being scene in public with you.)
18. Your gut/intuition/6th sense whatever is screaming at you something is just not quite right.
Please be reminded that they will lie, lie, and bold fast lie even though you may not have ever known them to be a liar about anything ever before. They will call you paranoid, psycho, jealous, unreasonable and just crazy because they love only you. I hit my CBF with cold hard irrefutable evidence of his cheating and he still lied about it.
Good Luck.
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3)Four reasons to break up with your girlfriend..

Answer(may be) :


YOU ARE LEADING HER ON

If you are with a woman who you know is falling for you, but you are aware that you are personally not falling in love with her, then you owe it to this woman to spare her feelings and end the relationship. Women sometimes have the tendency to let themselves become attached to a man that is not attached to them. If you do not see a future with your girlfriend
, then don’t have a present with her. You can’t keep a lady around just because you can stand her. You can’t stay in a relationship out of convenience. You should never continue a romance that you are not invested in just for the physical rewards. If you are not intending to take this relationship to the next level, and you know that the girl that you are with is already picking out china patterns, then you have to do the right thing: break it off. If you care about her at all, then you owe it to her not to lead her on. The only reason to continue a relationship is because you believe that there is a future in it. You can date and you can have flings with women with no intention of building a relationship, but you have to be honest with the women that you are with so that they do not end up feeling deceived and manipulated.


SHE CAN’T BE TRUSTED

your girlfriend has been unfaithful to you, and you are unable to trust her, then you should break up with her. This is not to say that there are no circumstances in which cheating should be forgiven, but you have to evaluate that on an individual basis. First of all, do you think that she is truly remorseful and will not do it again, or do you think that she is just sorry that she got caught? You have to decide if you will be able to have faith in your relationship anymore. If you are not able to trust your girlfriend, then you need to break up with her. You will become a jealous person if you stay in a relationship with someone that you do not believe in. You should be with a woman who is mature enough to be honest with you. If your girlfriend felt she needed to stray from the relationship, then you should wonder why. Have you been unfaithful to her? Do the two of you spend as much time together as you did when you first started the relationship? She might have been looking for someone to talk to when you were emotionally unavailable, and what started off as innocent flirtation led to infidelity
. People do make mistakes, but if the mistake is going to cause you to be insecure and paranoid in your relationship, then you should break it off.



YOUR LIFE HAS CHANGED FOR THE WORSE

Relationships can change your life, but the goal is for your life to be changed for the better, not the worse. If you feel like you are no longer a happy and confident person when you are with your girlfriend, then you are in an unhealthy relationship. Having a girlfriend is not worth sacrificing your happiness. Sometimes if a guy who is very inexperienced with women gets a girlfriend, he wants to stay in the relationship even if the woman is a witch to him. If you are a man who has had a hard time playing the dating game, you might have resigned yourself to the idea that you have to settle for whoever will be with you. Wrong! You are better off alone than with someone who does not treat you with care and respect. It is unfair to you to settle for someone who does not value you. You deserve to be with someone who shows you the same love and kindness as you show them. If your girlfriend embarrasses you in front of your friends by demeaning you or if she is constantly pointing out your flaws and imperfections, then you owe it to yourself to break up with her and find someone who is deserving of your love.



YOUR GUILTY CONSCIENCE

Sometimes a man will stay with a woman because he feels that it will destroy her if he ends the relationship. If you care about a woman, but you are no longer in love with her, then it is in both of your best interests in the long run to end the relationship. Your girlfriend does not want to be in a relationship with someone who cares about her on a purely platonic level. She may be very hurt and saddened to see your relationship come to a close, but if you are not invested in this relationship, it is not going to survive, and the longer that you wait to end it, the worse things will become. You can feel bad that you are breaking her heart, but you should not feel guilty for being honest about your feelings.

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4)Why do we trust people we perceive to be similar to ourselves?

answer:


Surprisingly, the answers are simple. Trust between people is based on the perception that efforts between the parties will be reciprocated, reactions will be predictable, and members of the organization will least likely be faced with situations in which they are unprepared. The desire for security is a key motivator in developing trusting relationships in an organization.

Perception. People tend to more readily accept those who have similar backgrounds and common life elements with which they can identify. We think those similar to ourselves will react to a situation in a predictable manner. People want to appear consistent in their behavior, and respond to others who appear consistent. According to a Baylor University Academic Journal, “trust is based on a perception of the probability that other agents will behave in a way that is expected (Gambetta, 1988)” (Entrepreneurship: Theory and Practice, July 2006).

Persuasion is how we are influenced to trust based on our environment and life experiences. The persuasion to trust a person can be brought about by our peers, our needs, and the availability of opportunities which support our way of life. Persuasion motivates us to accept and trust people, ideas, principles, faiths, and respect authority.

According to Robert Cialdini(1), there are six characteristics of human nature which come into play to bring forth a favorable response in persuasion. These are “reciprocation, consistency, social validation, liking, authority, and scarcity.” These elements will either positively or negatively influence a person to make a decision about trusting someone they have just met, and understanding the effects of
persuasion can improve relationships within an organization.

Someone who has not gained our trust may seem like a wild card, and when gaging the successful outcome we hope the deck is stacked in our favor. This fear of failure allows us to justify exclusions within the workplace, even if we know the exclusions are unfair or wrong. If we have to share responsibility for the outcome of a project, we want to give ourselves every advantage possible..